We need you here to fight with us, to stand up against the people who torment you day after day, and who make you feel inferior just because you're different than them. We need you to survive and be counted, so that all of the ignorant, homophobic people in this world realize that there are many more gay people walking the Earth than they think. We need you to get older, so that you can vote with us whenever the majority attempts to block us from sharing the rights that they so freely enjoy. We need you to grow up to conceive or adopt children, whose future successes will teach our oppressors that a child raised with love and compassion is the only thing that matters.
I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. I wish I could paint a picture of a beautiful, perfect future, where no one will care whether you are gay or not. That day is coming, but it won't be any time soon. You have to wait for it patiently with us, as we attempt to secure our rights one by one, and to shed our labels as second class citizens. You need to be strong. You have to believe that the pain you are feeling right now will end some day, and that there are people who will love and accept you for who you are.
I decided a long time ago to never let anyone get in the way of my happiness. I accepted the fact that being gay also meant I had to develop an impenetrable backbone and unshakable self esteem. This was much easier for me, because I was already an adult when I came out. Who knows how much harder my life would have been if I had realized I was gay as a teenager. And to be a gay teenager in the cyber-age, where people can simply hide behind a computer and cowardly bully someone for the entire world to see, is a new kind of torture that I never had to endure.
But, you can choose to fight, or you can give up and let them win. The rest of us are in the fight of our lives, and if you choose to join us, I promise that you will be around to see the world change one day.
"I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. I wish I could paint a picture of a beautiful, perfect future, where no one will care whether you are gay or not."
ReplyDelete- It does get easier. The great thing about pain is, it always passes. The fear that builds in your gut and takes over your entire body like a slow death... WILL pass. If it didn't, nobody would be able to survive.
Although I agree with everything you said, I also believe you missed a part - you ARE loved. There are so many places for young people to turn now for help. Suicide is not the route you should take because time truly does heal all wounds.
As a teenager, I felt like there was no way I could possibly go on with the pain I was carrying. That my parents, siblings, friends would never understand how I felt or would ever in a million years accept that I would be with a woman for the rest of my life. IT HAPPENED! Slowly, people started to see that I was still the same person on the inside and that nothing had really changed in me.
Now, although there are times when I feel like that sad teenager, I live my life the way I want to live it! There are very few times that I feel like nobody understands me.
http://vicky-bell.blogspot.com/2010/10/letter-to-my-daughter-in-wake-of.html?spref=fb
ReplyDeleteA blog post that I believe every gay person AND parent of a gay person, should read. It's beautiful.
You're right. Instead of saying, "You have to believe that the pain you are feeling right now will end some day, and that there are people who WILL love and accept you for who you are," I should have said that they already do love you.
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful for your comment, Anonymous, because like I said, I was spared the pain of being a gay teenager. I was in denial during that time, and have no idea what it's like to go through what our teenagers have to deal with these days.