Monday, October 4, 2010

Dear Gay Teens: Please Stop Killing Yourselves

We need you here to fight with us, to stand up against the people who torment you day after day, and who make you feel inferior just because you're different than them. We need you to survive and be counted, so that all of the ignorant, homophobic people in this world realize that there are many more gay people walking the Earth than they think. We need you to get older, so that you can vote with us whenever the majority attempts to block us from sharing the rights that they so freely enjoy. We need you to grow up to conceive or adopt children, whose future successes will teach our oppressors that a child raised with love and compassion is the only thing that matters.

I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. I wish I could paint a picture of a beautiful, perfect future, where no one will care whether you are gay or not. That day is coming, but it won't be any time soon. You have to wait for it patiently with us, as we attempt to secure our rights one by one, and to shed our labels as second class citizens. You need to be strong. You have to believe that the pain you are feeling right now will end some day, and that there are people who will love and accept you for who you are.

I decided a long time ago to never let anyone get in the way of my happiness. I accepted the fact that being gay also meant I had to develop an impenetrable backbone and unshakable self esteem. This was much easier for me, because I was already an adult when I came out. Who knows how much harder my life would have been if I had realized I was gay as a teenager. And to be a gay teenager in the cyber-age, where people can simply hide behind a computer and cowardly bully someone for the entire world to see, is a new kind of torture that I never had to endure.

But, you can choose to fight, or you can give up and let them win. The rest of us are in the fight of our lives, and if you choose to join us, I promise that you will be around to see the world change one day.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Don't Ask, Don't Tell: Why Is It Taking So Long?

A lot of people are voicing their opinions on Don't Ask, Don't Tell, since the vote for repeal hopelessly failed in the Senate yesterday. I'm all for free speech and getting your opinion out there, but most of these opinions don't make any sense. Some of them are just down right stupid. People are letting their fear of the unknown dominate their feelings on the issue, when it really comes down to one simple thing: Good men and women are losing their jobs with the armed forces when they haven't told, and no one has asked. Someone can simply snoop around and find some love letters, and a 20-year career is ended based on who they choose to love at home.

To the ignorant people making comments like, "I guess the new United States military uniform will be pink," or "Allowing gays to serve will only cause sexual tension and make people uncomfortable," I've got news for you: The gay men you are so afraid of - the ones who go out to clubs or walk down the street cat-calling or hitting on other guys, with their pink leather pants and feathers - are NOT the ones you should be worried about joining the military. Could you imagine Tim Gunn on the front lines? "Make it work, people, I know a fabulous trick to get this blood out of our clothes!"

No! They are tough, strong men, who actually want to put their lives on the line for this fucked up country, a quality that is in pretty high demand right now. We have already seen the type of men and women in question, every time one of them is in the news for being fired. Has there ever been some spandex wearin', Liza lovin', lispy homo? NO! They look just like every other soldier, and they are able to perform the same duties.

The gay men and women in the armed forces right now have been able to serve their country while lying to everyone around them about their personal lives. The only difference that will occur when DADT is repealed will be that the men and women who take issue with compromising their integrity will now be allowed in. I don't know about anyone else, but that is a characteristic I would look for when choosing the people who will defend my country. I really don't believe it will change the TYPE of gays that enlist.

To study the effects that gays will have on the military, we should be looking at the gays who are ALREADY in the military. The proof is right there. The men and women who are being "let go" are decorated veterans with years and years of service, who have never been a problem until someone found out about their sexuality. They are not asking for the right to make everyone uncomfortable. They are just asking that they be able to serve without fear of being found out. To carry a picture of their loved one back at home, like everyone else can. To be sure that their husband or wife will be taken care of, should something happen to them as they lay their lives on the line for the rest of us.

I don't think that's too much to ask, and it's not because I'm gay. It's because I am a human being, and because allowing this policy to continue would allow our military to be exempt from the basic human rights guaranteed by the Constitution. Gay marriage is an issue that makes sense to still be arguing over, because so many people believe that homosexuals should be treated equally, but that the definition of marriage should not be changed. There is something else to fall back on, the all-powerful religion argument. It's the "not that there's anything wrong with that" mentality. But to not allow someone to belong to an organization just because of who they are is classic, out-dated discrimination.

You cannot have a law that discriminates against an entire group of people, just because some of them act a certain way. That would be like prohibiting asian people from driving. It is stereotyping, it is discrimination, and we as a people have already determined that it is wrong. So to the people who think that our military will simply crumble if we allow it to be overrun by fairies, that simply isn't going to happen.

While I whole-heartedly support repeal, I am not at all surprised that a senate vote has failed in the current economic climate. First of all, issues like this are always packaged into a bill with another measure, which makes it harder for people to vote in such an "all or nothing" manner. If a senator is for the repeal, but against that other measure, they must pick through the convoluted wording and decide which is more important to them. Second, they must do this right before an election. Senators are never able to vote with their hearts when their re-election will be affected by it, and timing is always off for the gay movement.

Also, I cannot advocate for a public vote, even though I am aware that the majority of citizens support repeal, because it would be inconsistant with my belief that civil rights issues cannot be voted on by the majority. I believe that we should wait to see what the report by the Department of Defense says, and allow the military to decide within itself that repeal is the right thing to do. Only if they fail to do this is when Congress should interfere. Either way, Don't Ask, Don't Tell has definitely seen its day, and there is no excuse in 2010 for allowing discrimination in this form to continue.